Many people don’t know this about me, but I am a bi-vocational citizen. During the day, Monday through Friday, I spend my hours as an assistant at a chiropractic office. Two nights a week, Sunday’s and Monday’s, I find myself donning my black t-shirt, dark jeans, nasty slip-resistant shoes, and a barely-there apron to take up my roll as server in the busiest restaurant in town: Texas Roadhouse. It was one night at this secondary vocation where I found myself desperate, worried, and completely consumed all at once.

I arrived for work just like any usual Monday. A couple minutes late coming from job #1, a bit worn down from the thought of walking into a shift right on the heels of completing another, and honestly ready to get it over with and go home to see my wife. Nothing was out of the ordinary. I found myself serving in a familiar section of tables, greeted by some familiar Monday night faces, and truthfully a bit bored by the evening as a whole. We were slow and I wanted to go home, and that makes for a really long shift.

Slowly but surely, as it always does, business picked up and I was lost in the busy-ness and craziness that is restaurant work. Get the orders, get the drinks, input the orders, refill the drinks, get the appetizers, get the salads, get more bread, get more drinks, make sure everything comes out in perfect order, check the food, fix any problems, all while doing this for three other tables, all while making sure not to screw anything up and making sure not to forget anything! If you are tired from just reading that, imagine actually doing it. There is no time for other things. There is no room for other thoughts. There is no place for other priorities. My customers take priority over everything for those few hours. Except one thing, that is…  Read More→

A couple weeks ago, my wife and I were shopping in Bed Bath and Beyond (or “Bed Bath and Beyond My Budget” as quibbled by a patient at the office I work for), spending a bit of that newlywed gift card money, when a sudden urge overtook me.  

The need “to go.”  

Not being one who has any problem with the frequent use of public restrooms, I made a b-line back to the front of the store where the Men’s room is located.  If I’m honest, there is this strange little part of me that enjoys checking out public restrooms.  

(Giving you time to gross-out and make faces…)

Yes, I admit it is not normal to enjoy anything about a public restroom.  More times than not, they are vile, disgusting places that I don’t relish being in long enough to relieve myself.  Suffice it  to say, I don’t usually expect a whole lot when I visit one.  However, every once and a while, I happen upon an undiscovered jewel.  A diamond in the rough (for all those who enjoy a good cliché).  A Kohl’s or a Zaxby’s, where the room that is the most hated and detested among all rooms is all of the sudden transformed into the object of envy.  The rooms where, instead of feeling like running away, you feel like pulling up a chair and relaxing.  Amazing examples of what cleanliness, decor and good taste can merit.  The rooms where I sit back and say, “That is a bathroom.  Not a hole.  Not a funky, stinky nightmare.  But a beautiful room that welcomes it’s guests.  I want a bathroom like that in my house!”  Those are the ones I look for.  Not the ones I expect, but the ones I look for.

Pushing open the door in front of me, I was ready to see if I had uncovered yet another gem.  Another place I could feel comfy if I needed to “do my business.”  Instead, I found laid out before me a scene that completely took me aback…  Read More→

I was out at the mall the other day when one of the most unsavory characters, in my opinion, made his way out to center stage.  As I looked up and saw him lurching my way, I had to fight back the grimace that was my gut-reaction to the frighteningly awful costume and honestly scary visage that attracted the attention of all surrounding on-lookers.  

Lo and behold, the famed Easter Bunny had arrived on the scene.  

On his throne and surrounded by cameras, he was ready to greet the children that would invariably come his way.  I would think they would be terrified by the giant rabbit/clown, but instead people were ready to pay money to get a picture of their child with this terror.  What does a bunny have anything to do with the death and resurrection of Jesus?  Isn’t Easter about the celebration of Christ’s resurrection as the center point of the Christian faith?  And if that is so, how has it tuned into a celebration of eggs and candy and baskets and bunnies?  I just don’t get it, to be perfectly honest.  I’ve never made the connection or seen a connection and am somehow always creeped out by a rabbit that lays eggs…go figure.

Somehow, though, kids are drawn to this guy in a most mysterious way.  In the same vein as Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, a character that brings gifts is always welcome en masse by people of a younger age group.  They gravitate towards the presents and money, no doubt, but are also amazed at the “magic” that these beings surely possess.  How could they visit everyone, everywhere, every holiday?  They must have powers.  And powers are cool.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I grew up believing all these things were reality.  I marveled each and every time Santa or the Easter Bunny would show up for me while also showing up for everyone else, too.  How did they do it?  How did they pull it off?  I bought everything I was told and never doubted that it was all possible.  So long as I was getting the presents, I was a believer!  And naturally, in my own time, I figured out that it was all just a calculated cover-up.  A little fib.  A game we all play and have been played by.  Read More→

This morning was nothing out of the ordinary for me.  Alarm went off, I hit snooze, alarm went off, I hit snooze, alarm went off, repeat.  Once out of bed, I proceeded to the bathroom to go through my usual fare:  shave the face, fix the hair, brush the teeth, put on the deodorant, spray the cologne, and go get dressed.  There was, however, a strange little package awaiting me with an affixed bow and card just staring at me from the sink counter.  I figured it was a little love memento, a “just because” token, a spur-of-the-moment trinket from my wife to show her love for me.  So I figured I’d play a little game and just stare at it while getting ready.  I’d make her wait there on the couch, anxiously anticipating my discovery of her little surprise.  So I finished up my daily preparations and walked out the bathroom door as if I never saw it, but couldn’t keep a straight face and returned immediately to grab the gift that now had my curiosity piqued.

I walked into the living room, little box in tow, and sat down on the couch next to her.  No out-of-character emotions, no sheepish grins, no letting on at all that anything was out of place.  So I proceeded to open the card.  It was at this point my heart skipped a beat.  Literally.  Because inside this envelope was a card in the shape of a baby’s clothing, and inside the baby-clothes-shaped card was a note that read:

“Ready or not!  We’re having a baby!”  Read More→