Holy Itches :: My Entrance Into the Blogosphere

So I’m praying with my wife tonight and this phrase keeps popping up in my head.

“God, give us a Holy itch.”

A “Holy itch?”  Seriously?  What kind of a random thought is that?  Couldn’t I get something more profound or cool or just not-so-stupid?  But it wouldn’t cease.  A holy itch.  What is that, anyway?  I mean, I’m a guy and I itch a lot, so which one’s are Holy and which one’s aren’t?  (No comment.)  Is there a definitive difference?  Are you itching now?

But as we continued to pray, I found that the idea of an itch was precisely what I want.  I want God to place down in me and my wife some sort of itch that we can never scratch.  You know, like those annoying throat itches you get that can’t be scratched from the throat or the ear.  They just teeter in there in some sort of tactile limbo, eluding every effort to appease the itch.  But when you finally contort your face, mouth and eyes to get that thing, it feels so good that you should win a medal for reaching it.

The “Holy itch” is not too different.  There’s something more in all this, isn’t there?  There’s something more profound and more compelling and more motivating to this Jesus than just Sunday morning rhetoric, isn’t there?  Something deep inside me whispers that truth.  I want that something more to cause a desperation in both me and my wife.  I want that desperation to cause us to truly find out who our Creator is and what He truly wants for our lives.  I want to go to another place not because someone suggested it or I read it in the latest book I picked up at the bookstore.  Not because I feel guilty if I don’t read enough, pray enough, sing enough, write enough, talk to people about Jesus enough… Not because I have to at all.  Instead, I want to, simply because I can’t stand it if I don’t.  The itch is driving me crazy.  

Somewhere, there is a faith, a living in Christ, a connection with the Father that goes way beyond what I’ve ever known.  It’s not a feel-good-on-Sunday but I-can’t-connect-with-real-world-people-on-Monday faith.  It’s not a do whatever I want and cover it all in “grace” faith.  It’s not a one-size-fits-all faith.  It’s something so much broader.  So much more…real.  

I want that.  I want it for me, for my wife and those close to me.  But I want it for the church, too.  I want us to all realize we are fighting the same fight.  My judgement of how you are wielding your weapon in this fight is really worthless, right?  I’m not the judge, and you aren’t either.  We’re called to love.  Love the unlovable.  Love those who hate you.  How do I do that?  How do we do that?  How do we allow Jesus to live through us effectively?  I’m not sure.  Oh, there are 37 Sunday school answers swimming through my head right now, but I’m sure you are very much like me when those questions are posed…deep down we just aren’t sure.  And that’s cool.  It’s ok not to know.  It’s ok to wonder.  

And that’s the itch I want.  The unrelenting desire that will never completely be extinguished.  The drive to do more so that I’m equipped, not so that I’m a “good Christian.”  I want to be effective.  I want my wife to be effective.  Effective at what?  Spreading this good news that we have.  Is it good news to me still?  After all these years and all this life I have put it through, is it still good news to me?

I have an answer for that one…absolutely yes!  

Now how to live that truth out and see it’s power effect everyone around us…that’s the other part of the story.  That’s why I want the itch.  To keep me digging, relentlessly, without pause and without excuse, until I find the better way to live this thing.  Until I find God’s way…